Okay Jan.

So this month hasn't been off to the best start, and last month and the month before that have pretty much sucked!
Mr.A. is coming home this Sunday, which I am not looking forward to.
I found out from Mrs.Z. that he might actually be working from home now, how fucking great is that?
So I found out yesterday about the working from home-shit, and this morning I found out the whole he's coming this Sunday-shit.
I honestly don't like this, I really, really, really, really, really, really don't like this.
So I'm going to have to work on what I'm going to do and try to get everything going.

Like, I need to get my college shit figured out, I need to get a job and make moneys.
I need to get away from HIM.
Because I  don't like being around him, at all.
And I honestly need to get my life moving at a different pace where I'm at right now just isn't working for me, so I need to get shit moving.
I need to get my own place and get my own things figured out, I need to do this and that and this and that.
I just need to do a lot of shit and it's only the beginning, doing things will never end.
But you know, doing nothing just doesn't work.

I'm scared, nervous, anxious, but I'm also ready.
I know it's got to happen sooner or later... so sooner than later is probably best.
I'm worried about a lot of shit.
But Liam and I quote, "Worrying is like trying to solve an Algebra problem by chewing gum."

He makes everything sound soooo easy.
But he's right, I do need to not worry about so much shit.
But I've been worrying about things for so long it's just hard not to.

I guess it's a bad habit, actually it is a bad habit, which is driving me in-fucking-sane.
So I need to quit this bad habit, but it's hardddddd.
Writing helps a lot though, it clears my head and helps my think.
Straightens me out.

I've decided I need to listen to music a lot more, for a while I've just been listening every once in a while and when I actually do listen to music I feel better.
I don't know why I've been neglecting myself, I just get too caught up worrying about other people. (Mostly my bitchy family.)

I love my mom, she's the best, really.
But she drives me fucking crazy.

My sister.....Oi, she's a whole different story. But insane doesn't cut it.

Sooooo, I obviously need to get my ME time fixed.
I need to do the shit that makes me happy, I need to start coming first instead of second, third, fourth or whatever damn number I usually come in.

One thing I'm worried about and I won't stop worrying about is not being able to talk to Liam or Tristan as much, I mean come on. Who will I rant and rave and bitch to if I can't talk to them?
Sometimes writing just isn't as much fun as calling someone up and cussing like a little sailor about random shit or just people in general.

I also worry about not being able to write as much, but I'll make time for the shit I enjoy.

Soooo, I think this year is going to be really weird, really different but really interesting.

Let's just hope there's a lot of GOOD changes, because I'm tired of bad shit.