Why is it easier to write in a book that no one ever reads?
Because it’s easier to pretend you’re talking to someone than it is to actually spill out your soul to someone.
Talking about yourself, it’s a pain in the ass. Unless you’re one of those weird ass people who are obsessed with themselves and thinks everyone loves you, when instead they actually just get really fucking ticked off around you.
Explaining your thoughts, and feelings, it’s hard to open up and do that.
At least it is for me, I’ve been trying to learn how to just stop being an emotional wall.
People don’t understand why I am the way I am, and I can’t really explain it to them.
How do you explain something that they haven’t experienced or you’re not sure how to explain?
How can you tell them that you’re like this because of what others have done, so you learned how to protect yourself?
I’ve tried explaining before, and normally people just tell me the past is the past and that I need to stop worrying about people hurting me, or worrying about people being stupid.
They don’t understand.
Maybe that works for them, maybe they haven’t had a lot of people hurt them.
Forgive and forget they say, but some things you can’t forget and some things you can only partially forgive.
I guess I’m one of the people that will always remember, I’ve always been able to remember weird things or things I shouldn’t be able to remember I do.
Probably not a fantastic thing, but I can’t exactly help it.
I don’t automatically expect everyone to hurt me, be stupid, or just an ass.
But I can’t help be wary.
Let’s just say it’s a survival thing, because if I was always a bundle of joy expecting the best out of everyone, then I would’ve been crushed a long time ago.
Hell, maybe some of me was and that’s why I am who I am now.
But I don’t regret it, maybe some small parts.
At least it’s helping me become the person I’m hopefully supposed to be.
Maybe, just who I want to be.
-Victoria
Because it’s easier to pretend you’re talking to someone than it is to actually spill out your soul to someone.
Talking about yourself, it’s a pain in the ass. Unless you’re one of those weird ass people who are obsessed with themselves and thinks everyone loves you, when instead they actually just get really fucking ticked off around you.
Explaining your thoughts, and feelings, it’s hard to open up and do that.
At least it is for me, I’ve been trying to learn how to just stop being an emotional wall.
People don’t understand why I am the way I am, and I can’t really explain it to them.
How do you explain something that they haven’t experienced or you’re not sure how to explain?
How can you tell them that you’re like this because of what others have done, so you learned how to protect yourself?
I’ve tried explaining before, and normally people just tell me the past is the past and that I need to stop worrying about people hurting me, or worrying about people being stupid.
They don’t understand.
Maybe that works for them, maybe they haven’t had a lot of people hurt them.
Forgive and forget they say, but some things you can’t forget and some things you can only partially forgive.
I guess I’m one of the people that will always remember, I’ve always been able to remember weird things or things I shouldn’t be able to remember I do.
Probably not a fantastic thing, but I can’t exactly help it.
I don’t automatically expect everyone to hurt me, be stupid, or just an ass.
But I can’t help be wary.
Let’s just say it’s a survival thing, because if I was always a bundle of joy expecting the best out of everyone, then I would’ve been crushed a long time ago.
Hell, maybe some of me was and that’s why I am who I am now.
But I don’t regret it, maybe some small parts.
At least it’s helping me become the person I’m hopefully supposed to be.
Maybe, just who I want to be.
-Victoria
