Full Moon's Corruption.

I'm corrupted, I've got a perverted sense of humor.
But that's not why I feel corrupted right now.

My restless, edgy, unease, is bothering me a LOT right now, it always gets worse when the moon becomes full.
Steadily building until I feel like....Like?
Like what?
I can't explain, it's weird... I feel like I need to be set free or free myself.
But I don't know how.
So fuck me, haha..
Stuck in..I guess place, the same things over and over.
Same shit, different day.

I just feel like punching my wall repeatedly until either the wall crumbles or my knuckles begin to bleed.
Probably both.

I've always been "attuned" to things, but sometimes it's a pain.
Makes me feel like I'm running in circles sometimes.
Makes my mind swirl and my thoughts get lost.

I've lost what I was trying to say.
But oh fucking well.

I've been working on a third story, so I'm working in three stories.
I actually have more than three, but I've been working in these the most.
So...yeah.
It's coming along pretty good I suppose.

If only I could think straight and write....

30 post.

30 Post already?!
I'm such a blogging bitch.
I enjoy it though, so who cares.
Well, obviously I care since I'm still writing post...
ANYWAY....

The new member of the family, Gypsy, well she's fitting in quite well. Cleopatra and Tio haven't had any issues with her.
Except I think Cleopatra gets jealous sometimes, because she starts throwing a fit when someone is talking or playing with Gypsy.

Just got  a text message from my budd, Zach.
He hasn't responded in ages.
So I'm surprised he texted me.

Paul's IMing me about his giant pumpkin which weighs like 80lbs. or some such.
I only like to carve pumpkins, otherwise I don't really give a shit.
I don't like pumpkin pie, well any pie actually.
Maybe I just haven't had good pie, or it's just not my thing.
I don't know, but I also don't really like cake.
I'll eat it sometimes, mostly to be polite... But I do enjoy a nice Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake every once in a while.

I'm not much of a pastry or dessert person...

I also found out I write better if I listen to music, it helps me keep myself more on track or in line.
Whatever.
I just write better if I've got some music on.

Apparently Zachness wants to do Minecraft this weekend, with Skype.
Skype is sooo laggy for me.
I don't like it, why can't he get msn?!

But whatever, I'll do it anyway.


I've been listening to Enrique a lot lately, I forgot how much I liked his music till I happen to search him up on Spotify.
Been listening to him for about 3 days now.
Other things too, but mostly him.




Was inviting my best buddies to play Minecraft. <.< I'm not sure how many actually will, but it'll be fun.
Pretty sure Paul.. and Liam will be up for it.

I went for a short jog yesterday evening.
A very short one.
I guess I'd call it more of a sprint.
But it felt nice, it was kind of cool outside.
I loved it.
I should plan a longer run sometime, maybe head up to the park or something.

But last time I went for a run at the park, this creepy truck had pulled up with a full view of the path and just sat there the entire time.
It was like Pedobear waiting to attack !

I actually haven't been back since then, and that was months ago...

I guess I shouldn't worry.
If a pedobeardude tried to attack me, I'd either kick his ass and pull out one of my many pocket knives I carry and tell him to get the fuck off.
Or just take off running.
He won't catch me.

I won't be caught unless I want to be.
It's always been that way.

I've only met two people that could keep up with me, and I haven't seen either of them in years.
Actually, I only still know about one.
I haven't seen the other since I moved.

Good riddance to.

Long story!

I go over too many subjects in one post I think sometimes >.>
But oh well, the mind will wander sometimes it's just best to go along.

I wonder how the rest of today will goo....

Emotion commotionnnnn.

Chatting with Paul and Liam.
Listening to some Skrillex.
Picking up on one or more peoples' feelings and it's sending me into a chaotic whirl of unsure emotions and or feelings.
It hasn't hit me this hard in a while.
Just another crazy whacky thing to add to the list of meeee.

Trying to distract myself, with music, chatting, movie, kitties, and possibly Minecraft.

I feel like... I'm feeling too many things at one time and it's confusing my system and making me run slow.
It's like when you have too many web pages open and you're internet fucks its self over.
Blah blah blahhhhhh.

This fucking crazy.
Driving me insane in an impossibly slow wayyyy.
What the fuck do I do about it?
Nothing 'cause I can't control itttt..
All I can do is close my eyes and sigh.
Another day, another chaotic spin.
Like the roll of the dice,
It decides your future in the game.
You'll either get a lucky spot or a shitty drop.
Who wrote the rules to this fucking game?
All you can do is laugh and flip off this fucked up world.
Rambling now?
You bet, but it keeps me from thinking on one thing too long.
If I pause for even a second the emotions crowd in on me.
Trying to suffocate me!
Their hold is unrelentinggggg.
I sound insane, but aren't we all?
We're all crazy in our own waysss.

All this sounds like a bunch of crazy, randomly put together shit.
But sometimes that's how it is.
Isn't the world a crazy mixed up place?
What do you expect the people to be like?
I mean come on.
If you lived in a fucked up, random, chaotic place.
Then you're probably going to be mixed up and feel like everything's chaotic.

When people ask how I feel, I reply fine or okay.
Because I'm never really sure how I feel normally.
People say I'm complicating.
Well I'm not just complicating to them, I'm complicated to myself.
Sometimes I just need to ramble.
It helps...
Not always, but sometimes.
I get to try and figure out what kind of emotions are running through me atm.
People are always telling me to change, to be more emotional, to open up, to stop being so down.
On and on and on, always telling ME how to be.
Why do they want to change me?
And if they knew how emotional I was, I don't know if they could handle it.
Why don't they think about how maybe they need to change, instead of trying to change everything or everyone else.

Yeah I got crazy ideas, yeah I'm mixed up.
But at least I don't try to change anyone else because of it.
At least no consciously.

Sometimes I think writing and music are the only things that actually help me get through every day.

Yeah I'm lost, but I know I'll survive.
I always have.
Through every shitty fucking thing I've been through.
Yeah some people have been through worse and I'm not saying I'm the worst off person in the world.
But I'm not the best off.
I've got too many thoughts going through my mind.
That's why what I say gets mixed up.
They all try to come out at the same time and it gets hard to keep track.

I need to go for a run.
That always helps clear my mind.
Running through the trees.
Not worrying about people.
Just enjoying the breeze, the feel of my sneakers hitting the ground.
The steady pace of my breathing.
The sun.

Not a damned thing to worry about.
Except maybe falling.
Or twisting your ankle...Getting bit by a snake.
Okay, theree's a lot of things to worry about.
But you don't really think about itt.

Just on the path you're on right that moment.

Not the future,
Not the past,
Just right that second.