It's Friday? Hell Nooo

So, today.. yesterday, the day before, the week before, month, year....
What the fuck is going on?
Shouldn't I be enjoying my life by now?
Honestly, come on.
I certainly don't want to be getting older but obviously I can't stop it.
But that doesn't mean I enjoy watching the days all blend together and watching the year fade and seeing a new one approach.
Birthdays are nice but at the same time can just go fuck off.

I'm waiting for when I can have some "Me" time and not always be taking care of someone else or someone else s' shit.
I'm already doing so much I'm trying to imagine what it's going to be like once I get a job and go to college.
I'll die.
Like literally I will just fall over and die from all the work.
Okay... So maybe I won't really dieee...
But close enough.

I mean I clean the house, I take care of the animals, take care of GB and make sure everything's alright.
Because she's a stubborn ass bitch who refuses to go to the doctors, etc. etc.
Then I'm taking care of little sister too, she's almost as big a bitch as GB.
Just wait till she hits the teen years...

We will all be fucked then.

I hardly have any time for writing and when I do make time I'm stumped on what I should write or I'm just tired and don't feel like writing...
Well normally I feel like writing I just don't know what to write.
So WHAT the fuck do I do?

I'm still stuck on story ideas and no one offers any good advice, I just need to find that story that gives me that flow.
But so far no luck.

Today's been up and down and has kind of sucked, it hasn't really seemed like a Friday.
I mean yeah a lot of Fridays haven't been great but I kind of need today to not be shit.
I decided to give myself the day off from cleaning the house, but I did have to feed the animals.
That's one thing that can't be skipped.

And I probably won't get very much sleep tonight because I'll more than likely be talking to Tristan.
Mr.Sandman pretty much says "fuck me" most of the time anyway.

So lately I've been feeling super duper weird, like weirder than I normally feel which is already weird, so I guess I'm just getting weirder...
People already can't handle me, how will they handle an even weirder me?!

I don't know, I think I need a vacation, away from family.
So I can collect myself and just relax.

Even after Monday and Tuesday the calendar says "WTF"

Disturbing

Well, sleep is shit.My body proved that last night and or this morning.
Woke up a lot as usual, but when I got up in the morning.
Tears running down my face and basically worried shitless.

Had an awful dream about a friend of mine.
Not going into detail but it was very, very disturbing.
Still a bit worried about it and will be for a while, I guess..

Anyway, took more goats to the auction today but the auction isn't until tomorrow.
SOO...

GB is of course making me go with her, and I'm wondering how early we'll be leaving.

I'm not looking forward to the 40 minutes to an hour long drive.
Yippeee...

Also not looking forward to sitting in a room full of "creepy cowfolk." 
And listening to the auctioneer drone on and one in that annoying fast paced voice with the fuckton of speakers in the room making it a bajillion times louder.
I don't enjoy watching them parade the poor beasties through the little area for people to look at as the auctioneer rambles on and I stumble over what he's saying.

Doesn't that just sound like a good time?
Some of the cows and horses and goats look so hungry, nobody feeds their animals.
For sucks sake.

And other newssss...
I'm pretty sure I did something like pull a muscle in my shoulder, not too bad thankfully.
But it still makes it a chore when moving 100lbs. of feed a day to feed the goats and can't forget their hay.(This isn't including feeding all the other animals either...)

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals.
Always have and always will.

But it's a bit tiresome having to feed animals that bring you no enjoyment and that you didn't choose to take care of. But oh well, just have to deal with it for now.

I've been feeling quite weird the past few days and unsure of what to write lately.
I know I want to write a story I'm just not sure what I want to write..
I need some inspiration honestly.

So I'm just kind of...
Meh.

Titles are for Noobs

So what have I been doing?

What it's only been....Less than a month by about 5 days that I posted.

Not only have I been busy and not sleeping well and having weird ass dreams where things try to kill me, but I've had writers block!
How shitty is that?

But oh well, I'm here now.

So I updated my "Stuff about Me" because frankly what I first had there was shit.
I can already tell I'll end up editing it again sometime, but that's not what we're on about.

What have I been doing lately?

I've been feeling like shit.
I can't tell if my body just decides that sleep is unimportant or maybe Mr.Sandman hates me.

Besides if either Mr.Sand or I should be hating at the moment it should be ME.
Not sleeping well is bad enough but then having shit dreams when you do sleep, that's like a completely dickish move.

So fuck you, Mr.Sandman.


Anyway....
If you can't tell not sleeping well has a slight moodyish effect on me, it kind of flips my bitch switch on. So I feel bad for the poor soul that decides to piss me off and I go all smart ass bitch ninja on his/her ass.

I haven't written in any of my "novels" in days now because I haven't known what to write and I've been so tired I just haven't really felt like writing.
At the moment I just feel like screaming or flinging myself into bed into my multitude of pillows and trying to sleep.
But I'm almost positive as soon as I get INTO bed that I will not be even the tinny tiniest bit tired.

Does this happen often?
Yes it does... I'll get into bed and be tired as hell and then I get comfortable and laid down and I'm wide awake and staring at the ceiling.
Go me.

Sooo anyway....
Fuck all for now, I'm hungry.

TimeToEat