Emotion commotionnnnn.

Chatting with Paul and Liam.
Listening to some Skrillex.
Picking up on one or more peoples' feelings and it's sending me into a chaotic whirl of unsure emotions and or feelings.
It hasn't hit me this hard in a while.
Just another crazy whacky thing to add to the list of meeee.

Trying to distract myself, with music, chatting, movie, kitties, and possibly Minecraft.

I feel like... I'm feeling too many things at one time and it's confusing my system and making me run slow.
It's like when you have too many web pages open and you're internet fucks its self over.
Blah blah blahhhhhh.

This fucking crazy.
Driving me insane in an impossibly slow wayyyy.
What the fuck do I do about it?
Nothing 'cause I can't control itttt..
All I can do is close my eyes and sigh.
Another day, another chaotic spin.
Like the roll of the dice,
It decides your future in the game.
You'll either get a lucky spot or a shitty drop.
Who wrote the rules to this fucking game?
All you can do is laugh and flip off this fucked up world.
Rambling now?
You bet, but it keeps me from thinking on one thing too long.
If I pause for even a second the emotions crowd in on me.
Trying to suffocate me!
Their hold is unrelentinggggg.
I sound insane, but aren't we all?
We're all crazy in our own waysss.

All this sounds like a bunch of crazy, randomly put together shit.
But sometimes that's how it is.
Isn't the world a crazy mixed up place?
What do you expect the people to be like?
I mean come on.
If you lived in a fucked up, random, chaotic place.
Then you're probably going to be mixed up and feel like everything's chaotic.

When people ask how I feel, I reply fine or okay.
Because I'm never really sure how I feel normally.
People say I'm complicating.
Well I'm not just complicating to them, I'm complicated to myself.
Sometimes I just need to ramble.
It helps...
Not always, but sometimes.
I get to try and figure out what kind of emotions are running through me atm.
People are always telling me to change, to be more emotional, to open up, to stop being so down.
On and on and on, always telling ME how to be.
Why do they want to change me?
And if they knew how emotional I was, I don't know if they could handle it.
Why don't they think about how maybe they need to change, instead of trying to change everything or everyone else.

Yeah I got crazy ideas, yeah I'm mixed up.
But at least I don't try to change anyone else because of it.
At least no consciously.

Sometimes I think writing and music are the only things that actually help me get through every day.

Yeah I'm lost, but I know I'll survive.
I always have.
Through every shitty fucking thing I've been through.
Yeah some people have been through worse and I'm not saying I'm the worst off person in the world.
But I'm not the best off.
I've got too many thoughts going through my mind.
That's why what I say gets mixed up.
They all try to come out at the same time and it gets hard to keep track.

I need to go for a run.
That always helps clear my mind.
Running through the trees.
Not worrying about people.
Just enjoying the breeze, the feel of my sneakers hitting the ground.
The steady pace of my breathing.
The sun.

Not a damned thing to worry about.
Except maybe falling.
Or twisting your ankle...Getting bit by a snake.
Okay, theree's a lot of things to worry about.
But you don't really think about itt.

Just on the path you're on right that moment.

Not the future,
Not the past,
Just right that second.

Boring nighttt.

Dress Ya Dog thing went pretty well.
I saw all kinds of cute pooches and kitties too!
There was this one adorable kitten of tabbyness and she needed a home.
I couldn't convince my mom to get herrr!
But then once she started to agree.
Someone else took her!
But it was these two cute looking little boys.
And they looked kind of sad, like it radiated off them.
But the kitten made them happier, so I'm glad they get something that'll make them happy.
I just hope they take good care of her.
I love this songgg.
I remember when I first heard it I kept listening to it over and over.
Armin Van Buuren – Burned With Desire - Rising Star Remix

Text messages, msn messages, and since I'm checking facebook, facebook messages.
I can't write an entire sentence without having to check messages!?

I feel fat...I have skittles, pringles and a coke.
I'm not eating them... yet.
But I am drinking my Coca~Cola.
And petting my adorably cute kitten, Bluffems!

Interesting story on how she got her name...
Well, not really a story just on how she acted tbh.
I guess that doesn't make much sense...
But Bluffems came from brave-Fluff.
Her actual name is Bluff.
But we call her Bluffems.
Just clearing that up!

Watching Resident Evil: Apocalypse.
Okay, I'm actually listening to music and barely paying attention to the tv.
I mostly just keep it on for background noise.

I'd rather eat Pringles than Popcorn while watching a movie.
I think Popcorn is okaay... but it's not really my favorite snack choice.

It feels so good outside right now!
I got my window open and a cool breeze is a blowinnnn'.

I keep getting sidetracked and forget what I was planning on saying....

My friend thinks I'm weird because I've never seen or been to a 7/11?
Is it that odd?!
He said it's like Wal-Mart except smaller.
Pssssh...
Who needs to go to 7/11 when there's Wal-Mart. >.>
We don't need a miniature version!

BTW.
I'm just saying this because it's what I listen to music with...Spotify.
It's like youtube but with better quality and I know it's a music site and most people are like. "OMG ADS, GTFO."
But it actually only has ads every once in a while.
And it only last like 20 seconds.
So don't freak or rage quit.
Besides, it's good to try new things!

Liam isn't on yet, so I can't do the minecraft boogie yet!
Stupid time difference. -.-
I wonder how his kitten is doing...
I would've said toast, because that's what I call it, but no one but him knows that.
At least until now...

AND OMG.
I meant to write about this earlier but I forgot until now when I was talking to Max.
But it's funny because we weren't even talking about anything that would bring it up except some song I had to sing in karaoke which is why i remembered what I was planning on talking about.
Before I confuse you more....
Today when we stopped by the store to grab skittles and pringles.
We ran into my ex!
Not my ex Joe who I'm still buds with.
But my ex who dumped me through a text message and blamed shit I didn't even do on me.
And then stopped talking to me until he added me again a few months ago on fb.
Which I don't really care because facebook is an evil pile of shit.

ANYWAY. It was really awkward...He has a shitty looking tattoo on his arm which his mom made him show me.
Was fucking annoying.
Mrs.Zill and little sis were there, thankfully.
Zill didn't want to listen to that bitch blab on and on, and on....
About shit we don't and never will care about.
So we grabbed our skittles and basically ran. >.>

I can't believe I even dated him tbh.
But I was being creeped out by some other guy, so I wanted a reason for him to fuck off.
And he was sweet and such.
But yeah... An experience to learn from.

I'm tireddddddd.....
I'm always tired.... and I think I had a weird dream last night, but at least it didn't seem to be a bad one.
I just wish I could remember it, I just get bits and flashes.
Bit annoying...