Feeling lost.
We all feel it, sometime in our lives.
Sometimes more than others.
The world is such a crazy place and sometimes you just stop.
Thinking about everything that's happened or is supposed to happen, should happen, might happen... The list goes on.
It's such an overwhelming feeling.
You can't be sure of anything so everything seems out of place, you aren't sure what you want to do. But so many things or people are making you feel like you have to do something.
Rushing you into things or away from things.
Sometimes you need to just get away from it, but how can you run from your own mind?
Pretending it's not there won't make it go away and it's definitely not going anywhere.
It gets harder to focus and thinking on something for too long is out of the question.
Or else the feelings just get worse...
But you can't stop yourself from thinking.
Trying to figure out what to do or what's coming is like trying to walk on water.
You just sputter and try and keep yourself afloat.
Honestly a rock to hold onto would be nice but sometimes you don't have that option...
So you get oh so tired of swimming.
But floating along is all you can do at the moment sometimes.
Thinking..
Wondering..
Waiting.
What's going to happen next and am I ready for it?
I wrote this because I get this feeling a lot, it never quite goes away.
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| Damn right. |
Okay, so maybe I think too much...
Fine I do think too much, waaay too much.
I worry and over-think pretty much everything, and fuck me does it get annoying.
Sooo over the past weekend we went to my Aunt's (long, long ass drive) we left Saturday morning. Stayed until Monday.
Saw The Vow and The Grey.
Both were interestting movies...The Grey we saw first and it was a long movie. Longer than we all expected, some of the scenes made everyone jump but then we'd laugh at ourselves.
The ending was a bit disappointing, I think it could have ended a bit better but oh well, it wasn't my movie.
The Vow, it was a very sweet story, if you didn't know it was based on true events and all that so that made it all the sadder and sweeter.
Romance movies aren't really my thing though, I mean sometimes they're really good but then other times they just piss me off.
But that was one I didn't mind all too much.
But one thing I'm glad about The Vow was the fact that it got Mrs.B. seriously thinking about sending me to an Art Institute, so yay!
But........
The closest A.I. is about two hours away.
And the city is kind of dangerous, I mean what place isn't? But that place especially, I mean Houston is... a one of a kind place I suppose.
I'm sure I'll be fine, but like I said I think too much and worry too much.
So what am I doing?
Worrying and trying to over-analyze and think about every goddamn possibility, which is damn near impossible to do.
Obviously I'm trying to do it anyway, I just can't help it.
I need to relax butttttt...That's not happening.
I'm ready for shit to get going but I'm scared of things at the same time.
I'm not really scared to be on my own, but I am worried about failing.
Blah blah blah...On to something else.
I've been playing Skyrim a lot more, especially since Mr.A. has been gone.
I still love the graphics, the quests, I pretty much just love the game.
It was definitely worth the wait.
I haven't been playing Minecraft as much lately... I just haven't had any inspiration as to what I should do on the game.
I've been trying to get back into writing again, as you can see.
Haven't been sleeping well for a while now, I keep having odd dreams again but once I wake up they fade and then I'm not even really sure I had a dream.
But then I get glimpses and it becomes obvious that I did.
I wish I could remember them better though, the whole foggy faces and people either talking to me or trying to find me is kind of creepy.
I don't know... I just haven't really been sure what to do lately.
Besides chores I've just been trying to keep myself occupied.
I'm still working on the Anita Blake vampire hunter novels, I'm on book sixteen I believe.
I've slowed down on reading them because of Skyrim and sometimes I just need a break from reading or it just doesn't strike me as appealing at the time.
I just feel really weird lately...
