Why?

I get asked that simple question a lot.
Why?
Just that one word can have a huge effect on things.
People ask themselves that question more than once.

I'm asking myself that question right now.
Why do I feel like this?
Why can't I stop it?
Why am I here?
Why am I asking myself why?

Yeah the question list goes on, and on, and on.

My friend said self criticism is the worst.
Yet I can't help but play the critic in my own movie.
Watching myself go through life, wondering what's around the corner or what's the next big plot in the story.

No way to really answer that, no way to fast forward.
Just kind of have to keep going through this slow paced part, and wonder how much longer it'll last.
Hoping a better action scene is up next, the drama gets old and so does the same scene over and over.

I found a song I really like today.
It keeps making me think about things though, well it's probably not really the song. It's just the timing.
Stressed out, more than usual lately.
Yeah I shouldn't be stressing, or worrying. But how do I quit?
Mr.A. is getting home on Thursday, and Mr.J. and Mrs.Zill are still uptight and prickly.
Can't fix everything, but I can at least help keep things a bit calmer and keep it from escalating.

Wondering how the rest of the year will play out, and what the new year will bring.
Mr.J. is only supposed to be here for 2weeks.
It'll be a much shorter time if he keeps pulling those stupid ass moves.

He keeps talking about how the world is fucked up, and we have no idea.
He's wrong there.
I know more than he thinks.
He complains about no one knowing him, but he automatically assumes he knows everyone.
How's he going to get anywhere like that?

He acts like he's the only one who's ever dealt with tough shit and he complains and whines.
And then when someone tries to help or talk to him, he spits in their face.
Don't complain and act like you want help if you're going to do that.
That's just being an ignorant dumb ass.

But oh well, it's not my problem.
Oh wait... it kind of is, since you're in my house.
I don't appreciate how you act towards Mrs.Z.
You come to us for help and then try to be a douche and say get the fuck off, I don't need help?
Bullshit, you've got some fucking nerve.
Hopefully you learn to watch your step, because you're on a thin line.
You'd hate to fall.

Nothing I can do if you step wrong and fall off into the jaws of Mr.Ass.

Besides you don't need "help."
So why should I even care?

I can't help but wonder how many other people out there are like you, more than likely.
It's a lot more than you think.

You probably think I don't remember all the shit I've been through, especially in my younger years.
That's where you'd be wrong... So don't just tread lightly in front of Mr.A. and Mrs.Z.
Because I do remember, and I know I'll never forget.

Which is kind of shitty, because most of the time it sucks to remember.

Well, I'm hungry...
Time for some ramen and tea.