Nerdy post time.

Okay, so got a new game.

Zelda: Skyward Sword.

25th Anniversary and such edition, but yeah.

Watching my sister freak out over the first meeting with the Demon Lord what's-his-face-Ghirahim.
Ghirahim looks like a pedophile rapist or something, with his weird walk and creepy eyes following you around, with his hand out towards youu...
But it's been a pretty good game, I personally like Zelda but not everyone's played it.
And I normally don't like games for the Wii, just because swinging my arms around like a maniac tends to get a bit annoying after a while.
So I'm pretty impressed with this one so far, and I've enjoyed it.
I've only played about four and a half hours, while little sister has played over six at least? 
It's pretty funny.

Another good game I've been enjoying as well is the quite famous, Skyrim.
I haven't played it as much as I would've liked since I was recovering from surgery and a bunch of other reasons but I've gotten a good start I suppose.

I've enjoyed it more than I did Oblivion, which is saying a lot coming from me since Oblivion was like one of my favorite RPGs.
But it'd be a bit too hard for me to pick between Zelda, Skyrim and Oblivion as to which had been my favorites... I guess I can pick all of them..

But anyway, part of the companions and shit on Skyrim, so yippeee.
Once Mr.A. leaves I'll be free to do a bit more gaming...

Anyway, yeah.

Pains the game, Bs

Well I'm tired of playing.
Tired of getting hurt.
Tired of trying.
Tired of caring.
But what choice do I have?
I cannot lock myself up in a magical box of safeness where no harm would befall me.

The shit I go through is supposed to make me stronger.
But sometimes it just hurts and feels like it makes another crack in my wall.

How many cracks until the wall crumbles, hmm?

Makes me wonder.

December, December, let's see what I remember.

Angry puppy.
How fucking adorable!

Alright, so this month has been a piece of shit.
As I've been dreading in most of my post before, I was not looking forward to surgery.
But Silly me!
I SHOULD have been more worried about the recovery!
I mean really!
What kind of shit is that?!
They warn you about what they're going to do and blah blah blah.
BUT....
What they don't fucking warn you about is the recovery after surgery....!

Okay so what was my recovery like?
Well, having to take medicines around the clock.
Haha meds not to bad, yeah?
Well liquid and having to take it almost every two hours without fail, is VERY, VERY, very annoying.

And of course all the meds had to have different effects on me, can't just have one or two effects rightttt?
Dizziness, feeling drowsy, moody, sudden mood changes, etc, etc, etc.

All very quite annoying and such.
So I tried to sleep as often as I could and had to suffer with Painkillers that actually pain you as you take them!
Isn't that great? You have to swallow something that hurts to help with pain... Does that make since to anyone else?
No?
Okay I didn't think so either.

After about a week, food commercials could almost make me cry.
While all I had to survive on was, popsicles!
Because I'm not really an ice cream person and after about, oh a day I was tired of trying to eat it.
So surviving on frozen ice it was.
Don't take me wrong, popsicles are great.
Just not as a you may only eat this and you can watch everyone else eat GOOD food while you suffer with frozen flavored ice, bitchhhh.

But yeah, all I wanted to do was sleep so I didn't have to feel the gnawing hunger, pain, and watch the annoying commercials for food.
Which made me hungrier than i already was!

Can you tell I was pissed about not getting to eat yet?
If not I can always mention it again. <3


So I'm glad I can eat now, even if I'm still limited.
At least it's not Popsicles.
Yay!

I'll write about how my Christmas was and such later, I'm just done for now...
Still getting my energy back, yay for recovery -.-

Madder than a wet cat.

Well, this post name seems a bit "dodgy" because there's a lot of cats that really enjoy water, but that's not the damn point.
Anyway.
I'm pissed.
Like seriously P-I-S-S-E-D.

Why?
Because my younger sister is the biggest pain in my ass.
At the moment anyway.
She's one of those Ihavearighttohearanythingandeverythinganyonesays.

Kind of peopleeee...and one of those spoiled little children who have everything done for them because she's too damn lazy to TRY.
She should be banned from any and all electronic devices, except her Ds.
She knows how to use that.
Thank god. =.=

So I've been meaning to write and such, but I've still been recovering and haven't known what to write.
But I had to write this because I was and still am slightly ticked off.
SO.
I'll write something better later.

Haha-holiday

Yay for penguins!

Deck the halls with Gasoline,

Fa la la la la, la la la la,

Lite a match and watch it gleam,

Fa la la la la, la la la,

Let the teachers see the ashes,

Fa la la la la, la la la,

Aren't you glad I play with matches?

Fa la la la la, la la laa!

Well took me fucking long enough!

I finally took some time to figure out the little link tabs at the top of my blog.
Yes it took me ages to finally get around to doing it.
But at least I did it now right?!
Gosh.

Besides it gave me another reason to post random stuff.
Like this!

Stuff About Me

So,
When I first made my "Stuff about me" post, I was just fucking around and wasn't really caring what I put.
Soooo... 


I've decided to redo it. (Honestly I'll probably end up redoing this a lot of times.)

I'm complicated, and have a VERY perverted sense of humor.

I don't like people being dickheads for no reason, but who does?

I don't enjoy shopping, it's just one of Life's necessary evils.

Super preppy, happy, overly joyous people can get on my nerves.

Especially if it's early in the morning, I mean who the fuck is happy early in the morning?
Preppy people, that's who!

I love writing, it keeps me sane.
Wait...
What the fuck am I saying?
I'm already crazy but it keeps me from randomly punching people in the face.
Yeah that works.

I'm not a violent person, I swear!
I just don't like it when people are:

Stupid and don't realize it.

A complete bitch for no reason.

Just a major asshole in general.

SUPERDUPER preppy in the morning. (Pretty sure we covered that already)

And many other things that I'll end up listing later probably.

I'm not a morning person, I mean I don't completely rage in the morning.
But until I've woken up, I don't want a bunch of super loud overly happy morning birds chirping away at me.
Basically I need a shirt or a hat that says "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE....At least until 10 am."

I have sleeping issues.
They've gotten worse over the years.
I'm a light sleeper normally, that is if I sleep.
Otherwise I'm either staying up writing or playing some type of game like Minecraft, Skyrim.
Whatever I'm in the mood for I guess.

I have a lot of weird ass dreams, some dreams are so fucked up I write them down when I wake up from them.
Most of my dreams people are trying to kill me or something.
Last dream I had there was a Zombie apocalypse going on, I never thought I'd dream of that to be honest.
People tried to throw me off a bridge, that's when I woke up.

Badass dreams right?

Oh and in case you haven't realized it yet, I'm Awesome.
A lot of times I'm so Awesome, people can't handle it.

Crazy right?

But yeah, I'm a pretty quiet person, and shy.
I guess it's weird to be a complete perv and shy at the same time, but somehow I pull it off.

I've had a really fucked up past so sometimes I get down right gloomy, but who doesn't?
Sometimes I think I should write a story about my life, but right now I just don't have the "balls" to do it.

I'll do it one day though...
Gotta get that shit out sometime.

So I guess since I've mentioned things I don't like, I should mention things I do like.

Baby Animals, who doesn't like them?

Kittens, because they're fluffy and adorable and tiny and just instantly awesome.

Puppies, because they can act like complete idiots but still be oh so darn cute.

Turtles, everyone loves turtels. (Yes I spelled it like that on purpose)


Movie Madness,

Apocalypto, just because it's a good movie in my opinion.

10,000 B.C. because I liked the story.

Finding Nemo, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

The Lion King, Disney classic.

Pocahontas, because she's awesome.

BraveHeart, I love the story.

Dances with Wolves, also love the story.

A Walk to Remember, pissed me off and made me cry, loved the story though.

Zombieland, because if I had to survive a zombie apocalypse that would be a pretty cool way to do it.

Love Disney movies.

Tangled, is a new favorite of mine. Because it makes me laugh and I thought it would suck but it didn't which surprised me.

And can't forget,
James Cameron's Avatar.

Okay enough movies...

Time for Books.

The Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel. (her books are what got me hooked to reading.)
She who Remembers by Linda Lay Shuler. (Loved the series) 

Eragon series. (still have to read the fourth book) (ALSO the movie sucked)

Warriors by Erin Hunter. (childish I guess)

The Tree People by Naomi M. Stokes. (Interesting story with sad facts)

Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton. (Love the Wereanimals and Vampires, plus she's a badass)

Marley and Me by John Grogan. (Reminded me of my sister's troublesome dog)

Dream Weaver by Penina Keen Spinka. (I want to read the whole series one day)

The Reindeer Hunters, The Horsemasters, and Daughter of the Red Deer by Joan Wolf.
(Interesting reads)

And I like many other books, but honestly I've read too many to list them all.
I still need to read the LOTR series, working on The Hobbit.
So long waay to go.

Now for the all important Games list!

Skyrim, (Love it)

Oblivion, (Favorite game before Skyrim)

Minecraft, (because I love being creative and used to be in love with Legos)

Tales of Vesperia and Tales of Symphonia.

Pure. (Love pulling off a special trick right before the gas runs out and taking first place)


Soo...
I think that's enough likes and such.

Ohhhh...
But I am a big music fan, trance, techno, rock, a mix of this and that.
I like pretty much everything but I'm not really into gospel or jazz or superduper religious music....


But basically I'm a crazy bitch, who's probably more complicated than a puzzle box on steroids.

Gearing up for Thursdaaaayyy....

Well, I've decided Thursday is probably my least favorite day.
That might pass once I'm done with recovering from surgery and such, but it might not.

I had to get lab work done today.

Sleeeepyyyyyy

Apparently I have small veins, they had to use some heat pouch and shit to try and get my veins to say hello.

But she had to use a smaller needle than normal.

Which is fine with me since I didn't want to get stabbed in the first place!
Funny thing is though the needle hurt more coming out than it did going in, how fucked up is that?

And then we got foood, because I was feeling kind of bleh and mom said it was because I hadn't ate and they took blood or some such.
But oh well I was just glad to eat.

So then we went to Walmart...
How fun, right?
Not...
I kept feeling nauseous.
I despise feeling nauseous, one of the stupidest things ever.
Then we were sitting at the pharmacy and this old guy kept talking to us and it was weirding me out.
But then he finally fucked off but then I was feeling so shitty I grabbed the keys and made my way through the cold, wet, misty parking lot alllll the way to the truck.
Andd mom just loves to park super, super far away.
But can you blame her, it's a lot easier to take up two parking spaces when you're not next to a whole bunch of people.
I'm feeling sleepy..
Been feeling sleepy all day.

Last night Liam kept me up late talking, it was the first time we've talked in agesss.
But I enjoyed it, but then somehow we both managed to doze off for I'm not sure how long.
All I know is I sat straight up off my bed and said SHIT.
And I still had my headphones on and I was like Liammmm, I'm going to bed, byee.
And he mumbled some shit I'm not sure what it was, something about tomorrow and then bye.
So then I just fell back over after shutting my computer off and Zelda (cat), Jezebel, (new pup), and Tio, well we all slept in a big comfortable bunch.
With my pillows and blankets.
I love my pillows.
 

Rearranging or moving in Circles?

Kittens because I loves them and they are adorable?!!

Weird name right?
Well I'm just full of weird so my post and or names of post will be full of weird.
Got plenty to go around.


Anyway, the point in this post.
I'm going insane, well apparently I'm already insane.
But yeah, not the point right now.
The point is, I decided to rearrange my room. It's been too long since I last got around to doing so.
And if I don't rearrange my room every once in a while it feels all stuffy and I always feel restless and then my room just feels... bleh.
So once I change it up a bit it feels better.
And normally by a bit I mean I move everything out and then put it all back in some different way.
Yes, I'm weird for this I know.
But if I can't change other things in my life right now I should at least be able to change my damn room around.
So as I was finishing up moving my two bookshelves into their newly appointed places, and starting putting my multitudes of books back on them and arranging my plushies and other odds and ends.
I think about my damn ex.
Not only did we have our first big fight on Sunday, where he was the biggest fucking jack ass of all time, but he sent me a text yesterday.
With a picture of his new boots?
Last I KNEW, he didn't want to talk to me because the slut he's with was afraid he'd break up with her for me.
Again.
I never told him to break up with her and I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship.
But of course the biotch blames me.
Skank. >.>

This is why my friends are almost allllll guys, and the chicks who are my "friends" don't even speak to me.
Wait, what does that make them exactly?
Oh well, who cares.
But anyway, so I'm like, WHY THE FUCK is he sending me a text about his new damned boots?
Why the hell should I care?!
Well, turns out he fucked up somehow with sending that picture to more than one person at a time, because when I sent a text to him, I got a text from some chica that was a friend of his.

She's all like, "OH! I know you!!"

I'm just like...."UH, how do you know me?"

"Your his ex right?!"

I could tell by the way she was texting me, that she was basically bubbling with excitement.
I was just annoyed and exasperated, I thought about bitching at her to fuck off and leave me alone but then I figured that'd make me seem like the smaller person.
So I just told her yeah and she starts talking about the dance she met me at with Mr.Exness.

I honestly just wished she'd shut up.

Which finally she did because I guess my sarcasm or complete uninterested attitude came through my messages.

So then! I got a-hold of Mr.E.
I told him Congratulations on your new damned boots and thanks for fucking up and making other people who I DO NOT KNOW text me.
He never responded.

Probably because he's and incompetent dipshit.
I should kick his ass.
He's always afraid I'll hurt him, maybe I should.
He deserves it to be honest.
Cheating little mother fucking prick.
I hope that little ho he's with gives him crabs.
Wait, forgot.
He's still a virgin, he says she is too.
She's one slutty looking virgin.

Anyway, I feel better.
I ranted about that dickhead.
Time to move on!

Tomorrow I have to go get labwork done.... yipppeee!
Not.
Have I ever mentioned I don't like doctors, or hospitals?
Oh right, I did..
Well I'm mentioning it again.
I don't like doctors, or hospitals.

And I don't like completely absorbed with themselves and have no clue that they're heartless and retarded assesss.
Like my ex.

Oops, I said we were moving on from that..

But yeah, hopefully tomorrow goes alright...
But besides lab work...
Mrs.Z. is making me go shopping too?!
How much worse could it get.
I really don't like shopping.
Just like I don't like doctors and hospitals.

I read something in the series I'm reading, the main character agrees with me about shopping being horrid.
She said, "Shopping is just another one of Life's necessary evils, like brussel sprouts  and high heeled shoes."

So that's what I'm totally going to use from now on.
That is my favorite quote.

My head hurts.
I can't even take any pills for it.
Because I'm not supposed to have any type of pills at least two weeks before surgery.
They don't want it to cause excessive bleeding.
Blah blah blah...

I've been really ticked lately, like more than usual.
It's not just going into the dark place I normally shove it to shut it up.
Stupid headache..
Stupid stress..
Stupid peopleeeee...

Angry? Me? Pssh, never.

Alright, the truth.
Yes I'm angry.
No, not just angry... I'm fucking pissed off.
I guess because I've never been able to express my anger, I've always had to tone it down and put a fake smile on my face and be like, "No! Nothings wrong, everything's fine."
Reserved?
Maybe.
Why?
Because that's how I've survived all these years, upset wasn't wanted or accepted.
So just act happy.
That's the way it is.
I'm always told if you're not happy you should still be a smiling ray of sunshine, no matter how ticked off you are.
So I'm always swallowing my anger, or pain.
Sometimes it burst through at times, but that's because the bottle can only be so full.
But it never goes away, it's eating away at me.
I just want to scream and smash my fist into the wall until they bleed.
Then maybe I'll feel some release. 
But I can't or don't.
I can't just ruin the walls and I can't just scream, the neighbors would probably have a fit and call the cops. Or just think I'm mental.
Oh wait, they probably already think that, but how should I know since I never see and or talk to them?
Not my fault everyone here is unsocial, but who am I to bitch? I'm not the social butterfly either.
But at least I try when I see them, I might as well be a fucking rock in their path for all they care.
But we're not bothering with the neighbor's right now, we're talking about my anger which wants to spill over and cause pain and or destruction for all the years it's been building up.
Unhealthy?
Maybe, I dunno.

Liam tells me I should just beat the shit out of something, a chair, or something. Just take a bat and beat it into teeny tiny little broken pieces.
But I can't do that, nope..
I'm supposed to be happy sun--shiny princess.
Sometimes... I used to wish, still do, that people would get into a fight with me. Just so I'd have an excuse to beat the living shit out of something.
See, I'm a mean bitch.
Most people don't believe it.
But it's true.

I honestly just want to smash my fist into someone's face and hurt them...
Not a healthy thought, but at least I haven't ever actually done it... right?
Well, I've hurt people. But it was always in "fake/play" fights.
And I honestly never meant to hurt them, it's just I got a little too excited or they did and we'd hurt each other on accident.
Normally it was them and not me. *cough*
Like my friend Zach and I, when I first moved to the dreaded Woodlands.
Well I don't really remember what started it, but I guess it was kind of a I'm as tough as you kind of thing...
Because I've always been a tough bitch and I'd never really lived in suburbs before, or been around bitches who are just so darn right pathetic before.
Most of my friends are guys, if that helps explain.
It's always been that way.
But anyway, so he and I, well we used to get into these "endurance" type fights.
Whoever gave up first was the LOOSERRR...
We'd kick each other in the shins and such until one of us was crying mercy.
Good times...
But yeah one day we got a little too excited and I kind of accidentally broke his knee cap.
Heh.
I felt bad, and still do.
So, my advice to youuu.
Never get into mercy kick fights on a trampoline.
It will probably just end badly, like it did that time..
He never told anyone I did it, he just mysteriously came back from the hospital with crutches and no one knew why.
Not even his parents.
Hell, I was 14 or 15 at the time?
We're still good buddies too.

I guess I got a little side tracked from what I've been talking about.
Well not completely, but if I didn't go all off-track-random in this post.
I'd probably just be cussing the world, well not exactly the world.
Just the people in it.
Kind of like a raging fit of absolute pissed-off-ness.
So yeah!
Mental?
Maybe...

Fan-Fucking-Tastic!

Yeah, that's right.
Turkey Day
Can kiss
MY ass.

Okay, I am not happy.
Well, I'm kind of happy, I've been laughing for about the past hour or so.
Reading Kat's newest blog-posts about Zombie Deer and all kinds of other things, and then I was checking out another blog, Jill's.
But anyway...
How was Thanksgiving?
It was a piece of shit.

I've decided that Thanksgiving is my LEAST favorite Holiday!

Our Neighbor came over and half brother and nephew came over.
And a lot of other shit I don't want to mention went down.

But anyway, on Monday. When Mr.A. finally got his ass out of the house and we dropped him off at the airport. We stayed the night at a La Quinta, and I decided La Quinta's suck.
They're all the same weird pale-peachy-pink color and I DISLIKE that color.
A lot.
We ended up having to move rooms because our window didn't lock.
Mrs.Z. is such a paranoid, but rather be safe than sorry?!

We order pizza, from Dominoes, they said 45 minutes.
Haha yeah...
An hour and a half later, Mrs.Z. is pissed and calling and they say, "Oh.. well we don't deliver there."
I was basically thinking, you just signed your death warrant, budd-eh.
So we had to call Aaaaanother Dominoes. (Yay...)
But anyway, 45 minutes later, I finally had my box of pepperoni hand-tossed pizza.
I was happy.

I was not happy the next day.
I found out I'm getting SURGERY?!
*FREAKING out a bit*

Apparently I need to get my tonsils and adenoids removed before I get a super-shitty-bad infection where the pain will be so bad, I'll want to shoot myself.
Go me.
I don't like doctors.
Or Hospitals.
Or Surgery.
And a lot of other things I don't like.
But those are the most important ones at the moment.

So I'm kind of stressing, yeah.
I don't want to have to deal with taking medications again...
When I had surgery to remove my wisdom teeth.
I lost like 14lbs. in 5 days, every dieters dreams, eh?
Well I didn't like it.
I slept basically the entire time and when I was up I was feeling shitty and loopy and downright dizzy.
My sleep schedule was where I woke up at 3-4am. and then I would fall asleep again at 7-8am.
Wonderful timing huh?
Well, this time, my recovery time is going to last about a week and a half to two weeks.
Gee! Nothing but ice cream for a week?!?
Doesn't sound like my kind of party.
Yeah I like ice cream, occasionally, but not that much!
I'm just going to have to deal with it I guess, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.
And more medications to make my mind go loopy and my body say FUCK YOU.
I don't want to have to deal with that.....

I've got to go please Mrs.Z. real quick.
So I'll post more shiiiiitttt, later.